Stuff Nobody Taught Us
Because apparently we were just supposed to figure some of this out ourselves.
There are things you learn in school.
Math.
Science.
History.
How to write an essay about a book you definitely, absolutely, 100% read. 👀
And then there’s all the other stuff.
How do you say no without feeling guilty?
What do you do when you mess up?
How do you know when someone deserves an apology — or when you deserve one?
How do you handle money?
How do you make an appointment?
What do you say when you don’t know what to say?
How do you take care of yourself when everything feels like too much?
Nobody comes out knowing this stuff.
So here are a few things worth learning.
You Can Say No
“No” is a complete answer.
But if saying just “no” feels terrifying, you can also try:
“No thanks.”
“I’m not comfortable with that.”
“I don’t want to.”
“I can’t tonight.”
“That doesn’t work for me.”
You don't need to create an eight-page legal defense explaining why.
Something I want to get better at saying no to…
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How to Actually Apologize
A real apology isn't:
“Sorry you got mad.”
That is an apology wearing a fake mustache. 🥸
Try:
“I’m sorry I ______. It wasn’t okay. I understand why that hurt you. I’m going to try to ______ next time.”
Then comes the annoying part:
Actually doing better.
Something I might need to make right…
…
You’re Allowed to Ask Questions
You will not know everything.
Neither will the adults around you.
Some of them are just significantly taller people Googling things with confidence.
If you don't understand something, ask.
“Can you explain that again?”
“What does that mean?”
“Can you show me how?”
“I’ve never done this before. Can you help me?”
Not knowing something isn't embarrassing.
Pretending you understand and then accidentally making everything ten times harder?
Slightly more embarrassing. 😂
How to Have an Awkward Conversation
Sometimes you have to say something uncomfortable.
Try starting with:
“Can I tell you something that’s been bothering me?”
Or:
“I don’t really know how to say this, so I’m just going to say it.”
You don't need a perfect speech.
You need honesty, respect, and enough courage to start the conversation.
Something I’ve been avoiding talking about…
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Feelings Aren’t Instructions
You can feel angry without being cruel.
You can feel jealous without controlling somebody.
You can feel embarrassed without disappearing.
You can feel scared and still do something brave.
You can feel hurt without immediately sending THAT TEXT.
Feel it.
Give it a minute.
Then decide what you want to do.
Your feelings matter.
But they don't have to drive the car.
Learn How to Calm Yourself Down
Sometimes you need to solve the problem.
Sometimes your nervous system needs you to stop trying to solve the problem for five minutes.
Try:
Take slow breaths.
Walk.
Stretch.
Listen to music.
Take a shower.
Drink some water.
Step outside.
Put your phone down.
Write everything you're thinking.
Talk to someone you trust.
Sleep before making the giant decision.
You'd be amazed how many disasters can be prevented by not responding immediately. 😂
Taking Care of Yourself Isn't Just Bubble Baths
Self-care can be nice and cozy.
But sometimes self-care is extremely unglamorous.
It's…
Doing your laundry.
Eating something.
Brushing your teeth.
Cleaning your room.
Getting enough sleep.
Taking a break.
Doing the homework you've been avoiding.
Going outside.
Asking for help.
Leaving something that keeps hurting you.
Sometimes taking care of yourself feels good.
Sometimes it feels like doing Future You a favor.
Money Disappears Suspiciously Fast
Getting $50:
I am wealthy beyond measure.
Three snacks, one random purchase, and approximately eleven minutes later:
Where has my fortune gone?
😂
Before spending money, ask:
Do I need it…
Do I actually want it…
Can I afford it…
Will I still want it tomorrow…
You don't have to save every penny.
Just learn where your money is going.
Future You will appreciate it.
Learn the Boring Adult Stuff
At some point, somebody will ask you to make an appointment.
Rude.
But you can do it.
You might need to know:
Your full name.
Your date of birth.
Your phone number.
Your address.
What you're calling about.
When you're available.
And if you're nervous, write down what you want to say before you call.
Nobody on the other end expects an award-winning performance.
They're just scheduling Tuesday at 2:30.
You Don't Have to Answer Everything Immediately
A text arrives.
Your brain:
RESPOND. RIGHT. NOW.
Actually…
You can think.
You can cool down.
You can ask somebody you trust.
You can say:
“Let me think about it.”
“Can I get back to you?”
“I’m not ready to talk about this yet.”
Pausing is allowed.
Not Everyone Has to Like You
Ouch.
But also…
Freedom.
You could be thoughtful, funny, kind, interesting, and absolutely delightful — and somebody still won't vibe with you.
That doesn't automatically mean something is wrong with you.
And you don't have to turn yourself into somebody else trying to win everyone over.
I spend too much energy worrying about what ______ thinks of me…
…
Asking for Help Is a Skill
You don't have to wait until everything is completely falling apart.
Try:
“Can you help me figure something out?”
“I’m having a hard time with this.”
“I don't know what to do next.”
“Can you just listen for a minute?”
Sometimes being independent means knowing when something is bigger than what you should handle alone.
You Will Mess Up
Congratulations.
You are a person. 🎉
You will say the wrong thing.
Trust the wrong person.
Forget something important.
Make an embarrassing decision.
Handle something badly.
Change your mind.
Get something completely wrong.
The goal isn't to never mess up.
The goal is learning what to do afterward.
Ask yourself:
What happened…
…
What can I learn from it…
…
Is there anything I need to fix…
…
What will I try differently next time…
…
Then keep going.
And One More Thing Nobody Tells You…
You don't suddenly wake up one morning knowing how to be an adult.
You learn things one at a time.
You ask questions.
You screw things up.
You figure some things out.
You forget other things.
You call somebody and ask, “Wait… how do I do this?”
And eventually, something that once scared you becomes something you know how to handle.
Then somebody younger asks you how to do it.
And that's kind of how this whole ridiculous system works.
Something nobody taught me that I want to learn…
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